If You're Lost , You Can Look...

So, North Nashville recently got a new Super Wal-Mart. By North Nashville, I mean Madison, specifically Dickerson Road. Yes, that Dickerson Road. However, even on this infamous Nashville roadway, the Super Wal-Mart crowd is 47% less sketchy than the regular Wal-Mart in Rivergate. All that to say, I bought some new sheets.

When I was little, I always had a favorite part of wintertime, outside of the obvious gift-receiving. There was the time that I thought I would have fun and help out by breaking the ice off of the sliding glass door, only to have my father inform me that the ice was in fact the outer pane of what used to be a dual pane sliding glass door… But, alas, that wasn’t my favorite yuletide of my youth event. Nope… that title was reserved for when Mom determined it was time to put the penguin sheets on my bed.

Baby blue sheets full of vibrant penguins living the dream. The best part of the sheet change? Those punderful penguins were made of flannel. Flannel sheets make a man think that Al Borland had it right all along. To draw a terrible and disgusting analogy, flannel sheets are a grown man’s womb. But instead of going through the awkward process of taking a wrong turn and wandering off into some dark fallopian tube, a man can simply peel back the covers and climb into the warmth and security of a good set of flannel sheets.

Some relatively young adults might be more inclined to seek out high thread counts to impress their overnight visitors. Those folks are seeking the warmth of a woman. Or an STD... Me? I’m seeking the warmth of the Wal-Mart sheets I got on sale for fifteen dollars. That included two pillowcases, a flat sheet and one of those physically unfoldable sheets. And, one day, I’ll marry that mountainwoman that will climb in those flannel sheets with me. We can save the Egyptian cotton for summertime.

So, let’s close this out with a little motivation… Maybe you can easily remember your favorite part of childhood. Maybe you don’t want to remember your childhood. Hopefully, your best days are ahead of you. A wise man once told me if these were the best days of my life, I should kill myself. Don’t go that far, but do take the time to do something that makes you truly happy.

Find your flannel.