Cute Girls on the Short Bus

I'm about to get my Natalie Merchant on...

So I’ve been doing this blog thing for a little while now… This is post number 20 in fact. A milestone of sorts. I don’t have any intention of being the guy who writes for a little while, finally gets a following, and then forgets about the folks that got him there. This is for you guys… It’s easy to get on the bus when the going is good, but you all started on the bus. Sure, it may not be a big bus yet. But the people I want reading my blog are the people who are willing to be the first ones to hop on the short bus on a cold morning.

I want this to be as enjoyable as possible for you guys. I want you to get rewarded for being first on the bus – not only by getting the back seat where you can spend the ride imagining what would happen if you opened the emergency door, but while you’re back there reading the instructions on how to open the door, the cute girl comes and sits beside you… Not the cute girl from your grade, but the grade above you.

Allow me to say thank you. Thank you to the folks in Denmark who keep looking at this thing. And thanks for starting to tell your friends in Sweden... Canada, the UK [Is The United Kingdom like The Ohio State? Additionally, while watching The Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader a while back, they tried to tell a guy there were only 3 adjectives in a sentence. However, there were two additional “the”s in that sentence, bringing the grand total of adjectives to five. Sure it’s an article, but an article is an adjective] , Mexico, Germany, Singapore, Israel and Pakistan, I see you too. Like ZZ Top, this blog is bad and worldwide. Probably more the former than the latter.

Thank you to my second leading source of volume, the high Simmons. [First hyperlink of my young blogging career]. Mile high. Taking the occasional break from studying the laws that govern the greatest country in the world and shaping the young to become President so that they can go to any sporting event they want, the Skeets have been kind enough to let some of their loyal readers stray off the path and into the rocky soil.

And there are a couple of more groups I need to thank. First, thank you to the people who come here by clicking the “Next Blog” button. Sure, you’re probably looking for some creepy erotic blog, but, alas, you stumbled upon this creepy non-erotic blog. Thanks for stopping by.
Lastly, thank you to the creepers. I know your kind. You claim “Hey, he’s putting it out there, he doesn’t need to know I’m reading it and taking notes on his life.” And you’re right. Lurk away. You’re an important part of society. Without you lurking, I wouldn’t have to worry about staying true to my blog. It’s you who is going to call me out about anything contradictory to something I posted on here. And it’s to you that I promise to never again use the phrase “stay true to my blog”.

Remind me to remember you all again in a few years when Mark Zuckerberg, Jay-Z, Rosie O’Donnell, Bruce Willis and Taylor Swift are on my blog's board of directors.

I want to thank you. Thank you.