Do We Have to Give You Money?

So last week the two teachers of the 2nd and 3rd grade class at church asked me if I could do about 5 minutes on the Lord’s Supper in their class the following week (yesterday).

So yesterday after worship, I grab the extra trays and head up to face my 3rd grade fate. It is at this point I realize I haven’t seen either of the aforementioned teachers at church. One of my former Sunday School teachers wanders in.

I inquire, “Are you teaching this morning?”

“Nope. I thought you were.”

“Ok. (I was ready to go 5 minutes… What’s 45 divided by 5 again?)”

Since the young families at church collectively abandoned birth control about 10 years ago, there were 7 kids in this class (that’s a decent sized class for our congregation). 7 lumps of clay, just waiting to be molded by my shockingly small hands.

So, I went through a little background information, quickly realizing these kids were a lot more responsive than the teenagers who make up my other teaching experience.

First interesting question: “Did Jesus ask his apostles for money after dinner?”

This one was fun for me to answer.

Second interesting question: “Is that really wine in those cups?” [Note: I never passed it off as such.]

Third interesting question: “Why can’t kids be baptized?” It only took about 45 seconds of our Catholic discussion to get 7 late converts to Lent. Kidding. I didn’t mention Catholics… That might have made this question as enjoyable as the first interesting question.

Final interesting question: “Why are the trays gold?” Because the trays that Nelly’s grillz-maker made just wouldn’t fit into the budget. Even after the special contribution. [Smile on the rocks, please.]

I made it at least 20 minutes longer than I was expecting. At that point I rediscovered the joy of Hangman. Of course, due to Title IX, we also had to have a hangwoman. I even went so far as to make a hangpig [Note: the hangpig was the only round I won – meaning that the kids didn’t figure it out – but that’s mostly because I switched gears from Lord’s Supper words/phrases to Noah’s Ark, and I didn’t give them the apostrophe.]

Today's life lesson: If you're not willing to buy the Uterus Tic Tacs anymore, at least train your little ones to ask interesting questions.